a comparison

Most of you should know that I've been suffering from insomnia lately...(ok fine I wouldn't say suffering as it's partially my fault that I can't sleep). My point is, I've been reading bits and pieces of my old blog . And I find it quite appalling, really. Dark, disturbing findings that will probably haunt me for the next couple of days. 

Ok, so here it is...back then I was such a... happy person! 

So bright, so naive, so excited about every single day and every random chatter that took place. So forgiving, so understanding and I dare-say - so compassionate about...er...human beings in general. Give me rain and I'll come back with an overblown rainbow filled with glitter and sparkles with purple leprechauns and pots of gold on both ends, then I'll invite you to come in and shield yourself from the rain and offer you a hot cuppa and home-baked cookies. Ok, you get the idea. And yes this is disturbing.

Heh, I don't even want to imagine (neither would you really) what sort of thoughts will be running through my mind if that were to happen these days. Especially on days when I cannot afford for things to go amok. 

Be-warned idiots; Just because I haven't done anything so far, it doesn't mean I haven't thought about it yet. Ahem. And back to the point...

Right. I've turned into a bitter cynic, no questions there. Why? Well that should be obvious too given the things that you go through in life. You may find better (and more productive) ways to sort out your problems - but this is how I deal with mine. And it works a treat thus far. Still, I guess it's a little sad to look back and find that you've changed so much from the person you used to be. "Whatever happened to that girl?" some would ask. 

My favourite reasoning: Reality ate her.

probably a beginning

Why probably, you ask? Because it's yet another beginning and i can't reassure you of a continuation. Nonetheless, it's a beginning. So welcome, new and old friends - here I am again. What can you expect this same? Same old random posts, more rants and irrelevant rambles on life and all that surrounds. More lyrics that I relate to (though take note that in most cases they do not reflect my current mood or emotion or most importantly, mental state). This time I hope to make my posts more clear and concise and tone the ramblings down.

Before I scare off my newer guests, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Christina, most people call me either Chris, Chrissy, Tin and Itin. Mind you, the last two are strictly only to be used by Indonesian friends who are close to me (just because I hate random strangers who act like you're their BFF). Oh and I'm not trying to be racially exclusive there, it's just that 99% of the time it will sound funny if you attempt to pronounce them - especially if you're not erm, phonetically Indonesian. 

Moving on now, I live in Australia in the great city of four seasons, Melbourne. Been here for almost 10 years now so I guess this is home (although lately it has not been very homey due to my good friends being physically far away...but that's another issue altogether) I live by the waters facing the west so it's bloody hot come afternoon (meaning I can't oversleep in peace as I'll end up waking up covered in sweat...ick) 

I am to commence work next week as a Graphic Designer/Marketing Coordinator (yeay I am two in one) at an Engineering consulting company and I so need to brush up on proper business/technical writing skills. Now I hope I haven't given out too much information there, now that you know a little more about me please don't stalk me. Not that I'm implying you have that kind of intentions of course...but er...whatever, you know what I mean.

That being said, I only have less than four days now before work begins. And in the meantime, there is so much to do. Namely business cards and other random design projects I've set for myself. It's the Chinese New Year period now but it doesn't really feel that way... or rather, I'm not really in the spirit of celebrating. For various reasons that I'd rather not disclose right now, maybe later down the future (there you go, incentive for you to keep coming back here). I guess this is it for now, I'll leave you with part of a lyric from a song I'm listening to right now. I'd dedicate this to an old good friend of mine if I could.

Should I decide it's true

That you would leave me given half the chance to go 

And I'd be left here on my own to find myself in bed

Wishing everything that changed would be the same...

William Fitzsimmons - It's Not True